Friday, March 25, 2005

Procrastinating

That is why I am here, and not packing, LOL. Now is the time for me to really dig into it and get stuff packed; we will be leaving here by Wednesday night, so less than a week to go. I have done some things, like the linen closet in the bathroom, and I just dug through my cabinet of assorted plastic what-not in the kitchen (you know, those yogurt/margarine/Cool Whip containers that seem so useful you just can't throw them out? Plus all the mis-matched lids, lol). I packed 2 more bookshelves, some more board games, all the plastic sippy cups and plastic pitchers. It sounds so good, and yet there is more to do! And so, of course, here I sit :-) I did pick up some file boxes to pack away what is in the file cabinets. It would be easiest to leave the papers in them, but then they would be way too heavy to move. Darn.


Today is Chris' last day of work in the local office. He has next week off for the move, and then he starts work in the new office. He is a little excited, but nervous too. He will have support staff, which he does not have now, but he knows the boss he has up here is waaaay better than the one down there. So I guess it will be a trade-off. He is hoping that at least he won't have to be working the amount of overtime he has been doing the past two weeks, because he will have others to pass the work on to.


I just wanted to make a brief comment on a current news item. I am taking a risk here, as I see that others who have written about it are getting nasty comments about it; I hope that doesn't happen to me. I don't think I have such a large audience, and since most who read here are friends of mine, you will all be nice to me :-) Ok, so here goes. First of all, I am wondering just where the heck anyone got the idea that it is a fundamental human right to choose how we die? It was my impression that MOST of us *do not* get to choose at all. I can tell you emphatically, my mother would NEVER have chosen to go as she did. Her two biggest fears in life were throwing up and drowning. She spent the last 3 months of her life doing just that. But she never ever considered it unfair, that she should have been given the option to die some other way. What she wanted was the option to NOT DIE. Next, I have serious doubts about the whole "following someone's wishes" issue when it comes to predicting how you would want to die in some nebulous future, telling someone else, and that someone else carrying that out for you when you can no longer convey what you want. NO ONE at 20 years old is going to say "Gee, I sure hope that someday I get in an accident or have an illness that causes me to be severely disabled, so I can sit in a bed the rest of my life and be a burden to others!" Duh. None of us wants to live that way, and looking at it from the perspective of a healthy active person, it seems like torture and the complete opposite of personal dignity. I have also read stories of people who have had such accidents befall them, and they sink into severe depression and really really really wish they were dead instead of having to live the way fate decreed. But I have also read many many stories where people such as these eventually learn to accept their situation and go beyond that to find meaning in their life even with the new restrictions. They learn that there is more to life than physical strength and agility. Yes, a certain well-known person would not be able to live the life she had planned for herself at 20 (again, who of US is living the life we planned at 20?). She claimed at that immature point in her life that she would never want to live this way. But who can say she has not changed her mind?

I admit, I can only go by what I read or hear, which is filtered through the opinions of the sources who put the information out. I am also very biased, as I am NOT an athiest but a Christian, and believe that God is in control and we are very poor judges when it comes to knowing what will really make us happy, and how to run our lives. Evidence seems to point to the fact that it is a certain well-known someone's *husband* who does not want her to live like this. He seems to resent the burden she is to him, and has gone on with his life without her, and pretty much neglects her. Just why won't he divorce her and let her parents take care of her? Some have suggested that he wants her to die so he can get the insurance. I have no idea; I don't know these people. But I can't figure out why he won't let the parents take her if he doesn't want her anymore.

And finally, I agree with the general consensus at The Big Yellow House, who agrees with some other bloggers, that the way they are letting this poor woman die is just cruel and inhumane. People would be shocked and outraged if I let my rabbit starve and dehydrate, yet doing it to this poor woman, who MAY NOT WANT TO DIE AFTER ALL, is ok? It just doesn't make sense to me. I don't believe in mercy killing anyway, and it isn't even drastic measures keeping this woman alive, just a feeding tube. Yes, she doesn't have much of a life at this point, (but it seems that may be more of her husband's fault than hers) but I think those who would see her die "compassionately" are looking at it with their own emotions, thinking "wow, *I* would never want to live like that, so she must not want to either." Maybe instead of asking able-bodied active people to decide that question for her, we should be asking others in similar situations. Ask those who *did* have a debilitating accident or illness and are now bedridden if *they* think she should be killed. You know what, I think if she really *did* want to die, she would have by now. It seems her husband gave her enough chances to do that. An accusation, I know, and I certainly have no proof. It just seems a shame that the country would rather find out after she is dead that her husband was the one who really wanted her dead.

Ok, that is my little rant. I carefully omitted her name so I won't come up on any searches of her particular case. I don't need strangers leaving me nasty comments.

Oops, that was more than a brief comment!

Come to think of it, it won't matter if they do, because I won't be here to read them, LOL. This is probably my last post before packing up the computer to move. I just have too much to do to now to have the time to sit down and procrastinate any more! See you in a few weeks!

3 comments:

Notes from the Trenches said...

Well, you know I won't be leaving any nasty comments :-)

I hope your move goes smoothly with as little stress as possible.
Can't wait to see pictures of the new place!

Anonymous said...

About your rant...

The issue at hand is money. The husband in question will not inherit the estate of the dying woman if he divorces her and signs all concerns over to the parents. The total amount is 700 to 1mil. He did try options for her rehabilitation which were completely unsuccessful. When it was clear that her condition would not improve, he then began the attempt to remove the tube. This was years ago. The parents are woefully uniformed and any hope of rehabilitation is gone. According to a well known doctor interviewed on television, withdrawl of food/water tubes is not the same type of death as a cognizant person would experience. This person does not feel thirst and hunger like you and me. He says that this type of end for persons in a persistant vegetative state is common and that it is not cruel. True it will take a long time for death to come, but the passing itself should be relatively peaceful.

The greatest travesty here is that the federal government became involved in this case. This is certainly not the business of the US Congress. This is a case where the parents of the woman in question want to hold onto life, no matter how limited it is; and the husband who wants to hang onto the money he obtained by suing the fertility doctors who did not take all the aspects of this woman's history into account. He was successful in suing the fertility doctor and did stand by her for a number of years. The whole thing should have stopped with the state supreme court. There does have to be a point where there are no more appeals.

As to whether any of us can choose how we die...we can choose how we are cared for. We can say that we do not want to live in the manner of this woman. This where a living will becomes important. It spells out your wishes - either way, to make sure that things go the way you want - as much as you can. If you want only God to be in control of your death, then don't opt for any medical care at all. Any interference by medical professionals alters the pure intentions that God has for you. However, if you trust that medicine can be good as well as bad; specify what types of care you want in a living will. Your other option is to say nothing at all and hope that the party who becomes responsible for you is the one you want. What if the parents wanted to let her die but the husband wanted to let her live? Each case is individual and personal - and we really don't have any right to say what is right or wrong for that person. This why a court had to get involved. There was no other way to settle the disagreement.

I personally am happy she will go to a better place.

Make your wished known, because things might happen that you might not be able to tell anyone how you feel about long term catastrophic care.

Sandy said...

Very well put. I enjoyed your blog : )